Looking Back
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: [sanadakaido] Random snippets in time; a fleeting thought that became something more, a confession that was hard to make, and getting old.


A/N: Of course this was written for Samson. It was supposed to be for her birthday fic, but I was suddenly filled with the need to write it right away -- which means that it's far too early for her birthday. Not that she cares.  
Written as random snippets in time; I put them out of order on purpose, just to try something different.

Looking Back

Sanada wondered -- what was Kaido Kaoru really like? He'd seen the boy play doubles, and he hadn't been particularly interested in the game, other than to want Rikkai to win. His mind had been focused on that one thing alone, and he'd had not time to think about certain bandana-wearing players, nor had he had any time to wonder what he was really like --

Until now.

The match was over, and it was time to go home -- but while he forced himself to congratulate Seigaku on a good game, and forced himself to accept that they had really lost, and he would have to tell Yukimura about it -- he found his eyes wandering to that particular player, for no apparent reason.

His chance to have his question answered was walking away from him. When would he ever be able to actually talk to Kaido, without it looking strange? Why was he even wondering about that particular individual anyway? It wasn't as if they had any kind of connection.

Maybe he could ask Yanagi to go through his old friend Inui, and find out about him that way -- although Yanagi would want to know why, and Sanada didn't really have an answer to that particular question.

Kaido looked back over his shoulder, and Sanada found himself meeting those eyes. His curiosity grew, and he wondered -- what would he do the next time he met Kaido Kaoru? He knew they would meet again; Seigaku would be playing Rikkai again.

Perhaps the next time he met Kaido Kaoru he would say hello. It might be strange, coming from him, and it might not make any sense to anyone else -- but at least he wouldn't have to let his chance walk away.

--

"Do you remember the first time you spoke to me?" he asked. For some reason, he was feeling nostalgic that evening; maybe it had something to do with the fact that the only thing worth watching on TV was tennis, he was watching it in the arms of someone that he met through tennis, years ago.

"How could I forget? My team was laughing at me for weeks."

Kaido reached for the remote, and turned of the TV. "Why were they laughing at you?"

"Because as soon as I opened my mouth and started spluttering at you, they knew what was going on. There was really no reason for me to speak to you personally." Sanada made a face. "Besides, they liked laughing at me. They thought I was too serious."

"You were. You and Tezuka were two of a kind."

"Oh? Are you trying to tell me that you were much better? I seem to recall someone with a scary face who liked to scare people by hissing at them."

"I didn't want to be bothered," Kaido muttered. "I hate annoying people."

"We were both pretending to be tough little bastards, in our own way." Sanada planted a kiss behind Kaido's ear. "I'm just glad we got over it enough to find each other."

"So am I."

Some nights, it was good that there was nothing worth watching on TV but tennis; it put both of them in a very good mood.

--

"Mother. Father." Kaido was looking at his feet, because what he had to say next was going to be hard --

"What is it, Kaoru?"

"I...I don't like girls." He would have preferred never to bring it up, never to mention it -- would have preferred to live his whole life alone rather tell his parents the truth --

But he wasn't alone anymore, and somehow, even though he'd tried to hide it from himself, it was painfully obvious, these days.

If only he had never met the buchou of Rikkai, and if only they'd never looked into each other's eyes --

His parents exchanged glances.

"I think we already suspected that," his father said. "I'm not really happy about it, but I won't try to stop you from being what you are."

Kaido really loved his parents. "Thank you," he said.

"You have to introduce us to your boyfriend!" his mother said, with a huge smile on her face. "I'm sure he's very cute."

That brought a blush to Kaido's cheeks. Cute? He would hardly have described Sanada as cute, more like sexy -- oh, but that only made him blush harder.

His parents were laughing at him.

"Invite him over for dinner."

Maybe Kaido's life wouldn't be easy, but it wouldn't be entirely unpleasant, either.

--

"Wasn't that the fukubuchou of Rikkai?" Kikumaru asked, pointing his finger madly. "Why were you with the fukubuchou of Rikkai, Kaido?"

Kaido just hissed, and didn't bother to answer the question. What could he say? "I was walking with him, because we walk together a lot." Then he would ask, "Why do you two walk together?" and there was no answer for that, because Kaido didn't know. They just...did.

"You're not dating him, are you?"

In Kaido's opinion, Kikumaru had a habit of being a loud and annoying individual, but he was certainly perceptive. He and Sanada were not exactly dating; but what they were doing might seem that way to some, had he bothered to try and explain it --

Well, from the look on Kikumaru's face, he was just teasing anyway. That was a relief.

Kaido hissed. "No."

"Then why were you walking with him?"

"Because I was." There. That was a good enough answer for anyone, and he wasn't going to say any more about it.

--

Whenever Sanada and Kaido met up, things were awkward; they didn't know why they were together, but for some reason, they were. For some reason, they enjoyed each other's company; and for some reason, they liked to sit with their arms around each other, looking up at the sky.

Sometimes they would kiss, and that was okay too; whatever it was between them, Sanada didn't want it to go away.

--

"How long have you been friends with that guy?" Momoshiro asked. It was their second year of high school, and they were changing after tennis practice. They got along much better than they had years ago, but they were still not exactly friends.

"What guy?"

"That Sanada guy, who used to be fukubuchou of Rikkai, in junior high. I saw you with him earlier."

Kaido did not really consider Sanada a "friend". He was something else entirely -- but he didn't really want to explain that to Momoshiro. "A while," he said.

"Really? That's weird."

"Yeah." Kaido knew it was weird, everything about it was weird -- but he didn't really care.

"Is that who you're always rushing to meet?" Momoshiro asked.

"Yeah."

"Then I don't know you as well as I thought I did."

Kaido shrugged. There weren't many people who did know him very well -- Sanada was one of the exceptions, now.

"Bye," he said, and he went to meet Sanada.

--

"Why did you quit tennis?" Yukimura asked. They hadn't seen each other in quite a while. Yukimura had recovered from his illness, and gone on to play tennis in high school. Sanada had given it up, satisfied that Yukimura would be fine and could play like he had always wanted to.

"I don't enjoy it anymore," Sanada replied.

"It used to be everything for you." Yukimura smiled. "Have you found something else?"

"Maybe." Why was he thinking of Kaido at a time like this? He thought of Kaido often, these days. It was funny, how it had all started with him wondering what Kaido would be like -- just a simple whimsical thought that may never have amounted to anything.

"Good," Yukimura said. "As long as you're happy."

Was he happy? Sanada had never really stopped to think about it. He found that he was.

--

"Do you miss being fourteen?" Sanada asked, wincing at the pain in his back. It was far to easy to hurt himself, these days. It was probably time to retire, but he liked working too much.

"Not really," Kaido replied. "If I'd stayed fourteen forever, then we would have been stuck in that awkward time when neither of us knew what we were doing."

"It certainly took us long enough to figure it out," Sanada said. "I guess getting old has its advantages."

"Only if you have someone to get old with."

Sometimes, Kaido really had a way with words. Sanada smiled at him; a smile that Kaido had put on his face years ago, and a smile that had reappeared only for him ever since.

--

"I think Sanada has a thing for that guy," Niou said, as tactful as always. "He's always going places with him."

Sanada's eyebrow twitched. "What was that, Niou?"

"Nothing, nothing!"

"He doesn't seem like Sanada's type, though," Yagyuu commented. Sometimes, he was just as bad as Niou, and Sanada wanted to kill him just as much.

"You're right; I always thought his type was more...Yukimura."

Sanada hoped that one day, his team would get tired of teasing him.

Oh well. All the teasing was worth it in the end -- it was worth every second of wanting to kill his teammates when he could go out with Kaido and spend the afternoon or evening with him doing whatever they pleased.

He hoped it would stay that way for a long time.

--

Their first kiss was strange, but it wasn't their last. There were many more stories to come in their relationship; many more memories to look back on when they were old.

--


End file.
